An introduction to letterform etiquette
How you send invitations to your guests, we believe, is one of them. Thankfully, it doesn’t take being a world class etiquette connoisseur to be seen as a thoughtful and considerate host.
We’ve gathered a handful of best practices to get you started:
There are certain formalities when planning a wedding you shouldn’t overlook
Stay clear of abbreviations. Instead, spell out state names along with words like Avenue, Boulevard, Apartment, North, Post Office Box, and any other indications of direction.
1. SPELL OUT YOUR
GUESTS’ ADDRESS
mailing envelope
(OR BOX — BUT YOU GET THE IDEA)
FIRST TO CONSIDER IS
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2
1
Use Miss for a girl under 18. Use Ms. for an unmarried woman or a married woman who doesn’t change her name. Use Mrs. for a married woman, a widow who isn’t remarried, or a divorced woman who kept her husband’s last name. However, the next thing you’ll want to think about is…
2. CHOOSE AN
APPROPRIATE TITLE
(MRS., MISS, OR MS.)
mailing ENVELOPE
(OR BOX — BUT YOU GET THE IDEA)
FIRST TO CONSIDER IS
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2
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This depends on their living, marital, family, and vocational situation. Browse through some common examples in the drop down below that you may come across on your guest list:
3. HOW TO REFER TO GUESTS AS A UNIT
FIRST TO CONSIDER IS
mailing ENVELOPE
(OR BOX — BUT YOU GET THE IDEA)
3
2
1
Married couple, Formal
Mr. and Mrs. Oliver Garrett
or
Mr. and Mrs. Garrett
Married couple, Formal, w/ Woman’s First Name
Mrs. Siena Garrett and Mr. Oliver Garrett
or
Mrs. Siena and Mr. Oliver Garrett
Married Couple, Informal
Siena and Oliver Garrett
Same Sex Partners, Married or Unmarried
Mr. James Buchanan and Mr. Ryan Smith
or
Mr. and Mr. James and Ryan Smith
Unmarried Couples Living Together or Married Couples Where Woman Kept Maiden Name
Ms. Lily Johnson and Mr. Jackson Bach
Unmarried Woman, With or Without Guest
Ms. Lily Johnson and guest / Ms. Lily Johnson
or
Ms. Johnson and guest / Ms. Johnson
or
Lily Johnson and guest / Lily Johnson
Unmarried Man, With or Without Guest
Mr. Jackson Bach and guest / Mr. Jackson Bach
or
Mr. Bach and guest / Mr. Bach
or
Jackson Bach and guest / Jackson Bach
Married Couple with Children under 18,
Living at Home, Formal
Mr. and Mrs. Oliver Garrett
Miss Emma
Married Couple with Children Under 18,
Living at Home, Informal
Siena and Oliver Garrett
Emma
For Couples who Hold Titles (Doctor, Lawyer, Judge, Military, etc), their Name is Listed First Regardless of Gender
Doctor Siena Garrett and Mr. Oliver Garrett
The Honorable Oliver Garrett and Mrs. Siena Garrett
The Doctors Garrett
If your guest is allowed a plus one, use "and guest" after their name. No need to capitalize the word “guest.” Guests over the age of 18 who live in their own home should receive their own invitation.
1. CAN YOUR GUEST
BRING A GUEST?
inner ENVELOPE
NEXT IS THE
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2
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inner ENVELOPE
NEXT IS THE
It may be that certain members of a household are invited and, well, some aren’t. An inner envelope makes it clear so you can bypass any awkward conversations about who is encouraged to join your event.
2. WHO IS AND
ISN’T INVITED?
inner ENVELOPE
3
2
1
inner ENVELOPE
NEXT IS THE
While the outer envelope should be clear for mailing purposes, your inner envelope can be more personal. This is an opportunity to use names like “Grandpa Earl” or “Aunt Susan.”
3. DO YOU WANT TO PERSONALIZE?
inner ENVELOPE
3
2
1
Verbiage like, “Reception to follow” is perfect for when the reception and ceremony are in the same location. If not, you can share the reception’s location on the following line. You can also have a separate formal reception card with reception information.
6. RECEPTION INFORMATION
invitation
and finally the
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Frequently Asked Questions
Verbiage like, "Adults Only" is a subtle way of hinting that you prefer your guests children to stay at home. You can also explain this further on your wedding website and even add recommended childcare services available in your area. If you do decide to add this note in your invitation suite, we highly suggest adding this to a Details card within the suite.
We highly encourage this, and both the inner invitation envelope and the outer mailing envelope are even included in all of our packages! Having both helps protect your invitation suite, as it can take a bit of a beating going through the post office — even with hand cancelling. However, it's ultimately up to you if you prefer to just have one envelope.
If you are worried about your guests bringing additional plus one's, we can always write in a specific amount of guests for each party so that they know exactly how many seats will be reserved for them and their guests. However, if you're worried about this, let us know and we are happy to help guide you through the best solution!
Men
Tuxedo required with tails, a formal white shirt, white vest, bow tie, and formal footwear such as derby shoes or oxfords. White or gray gloves suggested.
Women
Formal floor-length gown required, paired with jewelry, heels, and an elegant clutch.
The most formal wedding attire
White Tie
Decode Dress the Code
Men
Tuxedo with a black bow tie, black vest or cummerbund, and patent leather shoes is recommended. For summer weddings, a white dinner jacket and black tuxedo trousers are acceptable.
Women
Formal floor-length gown. Some sources say a sophisticated cocktail dress or elegant pantsuit may be acceptable if the wedding feels a bit less formal.
USUALLY FOR EVENING WEDDINGS
black tie
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Men
Tuxedo (not required but appropriate), formal dark suit with white shirt and conservative tie, or three-piece suit.
Women
Floor-length gown, a chic knee-length or midi-length cocktail dress, or elegant pantsuit, with heels.
A VARIATION ON BLACK TIE, SLIGHTLY LESS FORMAL,
WHEN YOU WANT TO CREATE AN ELEGANT DINNER PARTY VIBE, BUT DON'T WANT TO PUT ANY UNNECESSARY PRESSURE ON YOUR GUESTS TO DRESS A CERTAIN WAY
FORMAL/BLACK TIE OPTIONAL
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Men
Suit and tie, or trouser and blazer combo.
Women
Knee-length, tea-length, or midi dress.
ALTERNATIVE WAYS TO WORD THIS: COCKTAIL CHIC, DRESSY COCKTAIL. A SMALL STEP ABOVE SEMI-FORMAL / DRESSY CASUAL; A BALANCE BETWEEN ELEGANT AND COMFORTABLE
cocktail
Decode Dress the Code
Many sources will group together Cocktail and Semi-Formal attire — they are similar! It's smart, but not overly formal. Many times Cocktail and Semi-Formal will imply a tie is required, whereas Dressy Casual does not require a tie.
Men
Dress shirt and slacks. There’s flexibility here but not too casual. Tie is acceptable.
Women
Below-the-knee dress, dressy skirt with top, elegant pantsuit, paired with heels, wedges, or formal flats.
TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE TIME OF THE CELEBRATION,
WEAR DARKER FORMAL COLORS FOR THE EVENING AND LIGHT COLORS AND FABRICS FOR DAYTIME
SEMI-FORMAL / DRESSY CASUAL
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Men
Dress pants or khaki pants with collared shirts. Sports jacket or sweater is acceptable, but not T-shirts or tennis shoes.
Women
Sundress with wedges or dressy sandals.
ALTERNATIVE WAYS TO WORD THIS: DAYTIME CASUAL, SMART CASUAL. USUALLY INDICATES THE EVENT IS OUTDOORS OR ON THE BEACH,
casual
Decode Dress the Code
